Behavior Incentives

This morning, the first order of the day was to establish a new system to motivate the children to want to be obedient and behave in a positive way regularly. With input from my husband, I established a "game" of sorts to encourage positive behaviors while minimizing negative ones. Since today was the first day of implementation, the children have been quite enthusiastic about pursuing it. They have been doing well, but as I typed, they had started arguing. After reminding them about the repercussions on their charts, they have now made up and are playing well together.

So, what is this system, you say? Let me explain.

First of all, I made up two lists: one labeled Backward (for negative behaviors) and the other labeled Forward (for positive behaviors). Basically, they each have a map on which they follow paths that lead to certain goals. There are a total of six goals and Home. They start at home and have ten "steps" to get to the first goal, which is "Movie." For each positive behavior, that child gets to move forward one step towards the next goal. For each negative behavior, the child moves backward away from the goal. They cannot move backward into a goal. Only forward. The only behavior that nets them more than one step is obedience at the first request, which earns them two steps.

I'm going to try to upload an image of the behaviors and maps so that you can see how it is laid out.

Each of the six goals, in order, are: Movie (get to choose a movie to see), 1-on-1 Time with Dad, Activity (get to choose an activity to participate in), 1-on-1 Time with Mom, Treat (get to choose an edible treat outing), and Field Trip (get to choose a place to visit). When they get back to Home, they might earn a new toy or something. I haven't figured that part out yet.

Between each of the goals are ten steps. It seems like it would be easy to get ten and hit each of the goals quickly, but the negative behaviors taking them backward on the steps slows this process down. They determine how quickly they get to each goal.

I elected not to include all behavioral aspects in this system (such as saying "please" and "thank you") since those are acts that we all do anyway. I really tried to focus on those things that we parents end up repeating until we turn blue. The system and its details will change over time, I suspect, but so far it is working like a charm.